How to Ask for What You Really Want in Bed!

be honest and Express yourself

Asking for things in everyday life? Easy.
“I’d love a chocolate cookie.”
“I need those shoes, size 38.”
“I’ll have another Mai Tai, thanks.”

We express our wants all the time—without shame, without hesitation. But when it comes to our sexual desires… things suddenly get complicated. Our tongues tie, our cheeks flush, our thoughts swirl.

Why is it so hard to say what we really want in bed?

There are plenty of reasons. Women are often taught—directly or subtly—to be accommodating. To not “ask for too much.” To not challenge a partner’s ego. To be less: less demanding, less intense, less… you.

But that’s outdated. And unfair.

You deserve to be fully satisfied. You deserve curiosity, pleasure, adventure—and open, honest communication. If talking about sex has felt off-limits until now, here are 5 real and practical tips to help you start that conversation and bring your hidden fantasies to life.

1. choose the right moment!

There are two ways to ask for something in the bedroom: the smart way… and the not-so-smart way.
Maybe you’ve been mid-sex and thought,
“This isn’t working for me,” or
“Can we just switch positions already?”

But in the heat of the moment isn’t always the best time for a deep sexual discussion. You don’t want to hurt your partner or make it seem like you’re unsatisfied.

Instead, create a setting that invites intimacy. Sit down together with a glass of wine, dim the lights, and try something like:

“I really love what we’re doing together… and that’s exactly why I’d love to try something new with you.”

A little mystery, a little heat, and a lot of honesty—that’s your winning combo.

2. be bold but be specific!

Forget shame! Your body has desires. Your mind has fantasies. Your heart wants connection. If you want something—say it.
And not timidly. Say it with passion, with detail, with confidence.

“I want to feel your strong hands wrapped around my wrists while you whisper in my ear.”
“I want you to watch me while I touch myself.”
“I want to feel you behind me, no words, just breath and sensation.”

Whatever your fantasy is—bring it to life with words. You don’t have to sound like a porn star. You just have to sound like you: real, playful, honest.

3. do your homework!

If there’s something you’re curious about but haven’t tried yet—it’s time for a little research. You can find guides and tips online for nearly anything:

• Oral sex? There are full tutorials and tips out there.
  

• Anal sex? Learn about communication, techniques, and prep. LoveGuru can help
  

• BDSM? Start with the basics and build trust and comfort step by step.
  
  

Knowledge is sexy. And empowering. When you know what you want, it’s easier to ask for it—and to enjoy every second of it.

4. you don't have to go "all the way" at once

We all crave a little danger, a little edge, a little “forbidden.” But that doesn’t mean you need to walk into a dungeon with a whip on day one. Start small.

For example:

• Curious about BDSM? Try having sex with your eyes closed.
  
  

• Then maybe add a blindfold.
  
  

• Next, tie your wrists loosely with a scarf.
  
  

• And when you feel ready? Sex toys, Cuffs, ropes, roleplay… whatever excites you.
  
  

Small steps can lead to big breakthroughs—in your body, in your confidence, in your relationship.

5. make space for his fantasies too

Once you open the door to your own desires, be ready—he might walk in with a few of his own. And that’s a beautiful thing.
True intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s emotional. It’s mutual vulnerability.

He might have secret fantasies, too.
Maybe he’s always wanted to see you dance in high-heeled boots.
Or maybe dirty talk turns him on.
Maybe he wants to watch you pleasure yourself.
Or roleplay in a hotel, using fake names.

So ask him:

“What turns you on? Is there anything you’ve always wanted to try with me?”

You might be surprised. And even if his desires aren’t your thing, it’s powerful to know where your comfort zones are—and where they overlap.

final thoughts: sex is a conversation, Not a script!

There’s no such thing as “normal.” There’s no “right way.”
And there is absolutely no place for shame between two people who love, respect, and want to please each other.

If you’re ready to ask for what you want—and truly listen to what he wants—you’re already on your way to a deeper, richer, and far hotter love life.

Your sexuality is yours.
Own it. Explore it. Share it.

No apologies. No shame. Just love. That's why we are called LoveGuru.mk ^_^